The HuffPost Divorce page recently presented advice from readers/bloggers on how they made their divorce process and co-parenting situations a bit easier to handle. These are all fairly simple suggestions, yet they can create amazingly beneficial results.
Here is a quick rundown of the tips from the article, “7 Small Things That Can Make Divorce A Little Less Stressful.”
KEEP METICULOUS RECORDS – Your divorce attorney will constantly remind you how important this is, especially for child and spousal support One single dad, Jon Vaughan, had so much trouble with this he created Genesis CCM, “a free child custody manager for divorced parents that allows them to keep better records of shared expenses and visitation using any mobile device with Internet access.”
USE EMAIL – You find it really hard to talk with your soon-to-be ex-partner but need to share information on kid issues, meeting times, etc. Instead of calling, pull up email to ensure on-going communication. Author Monique Honaman uses something called H.E.A.R. emails that only discuss the children’s Health, Education, Activities, and Reinforcement of Discipline.
RE-NAME YOUR EX – No, they’re not talking about anything derogatory. The advice from divorced mom Lisa Dubino is to change your ex’s name to “co-parent” in your cell phone. Dubino says it shifts the focus to your children and helps you view each other as partners in parenting rather than as enemies.
CONSIDER THERAPY FOR YOUR KIDS – Laura Lifshitz, a writer and comedian, used play therapy to help her four-year-old daughter work out her feelings about mom and dad’s divorce. The therapist even helps Laura and her ex to be better co-parents.
CLEAN HOUSE – This isn’t a trick to manage stress. It’s removing anything in your house–clothes, pictures, knick-knacks–that remind you of a marriage that didn’t work. Writer Katherine Forsythe says you have to be tough on yourself but it will open up space for the new you, literally and figuratively.
BE GRATEFUL – Blogger Shelley Wetton continuously thanks her son’s step-mom for the love and care she provides. In this way, she’s creating a cohesive parenting team of blended families that can work together for the good of the children involved.
TRY DIVORCE MEDIATION – In the case of journalist Emma Johnson, her ex-husband’s therapist invited Emma to join one of their sessions. However, there are now many attorneys trained in family mediation, collaborative law and divorce planning who can remain impartial while helping clients reach solutions that work for everyone involved.
ABOUT ERIN BIRT
Illinois attorney Erin Birt is a skilled legal professional with over ten years of experience in trial and divorce law serving clients in many DuPage County cities including Wheaton, Glen Ellyn, Naperville, Warrenville and Winfield.
She opened the Law Firm of Erin Birt, P.C. in 2010 to offer her clients alternative divorce resolution services, specialized collaborative divorce options and family law expertise. She and her expert team continually develop creative outcomes such as divorce mediation and family law mediation that work for all parties involved, particularly children.
Ms. Birt holds a J.D. from DePaul College of Law and is a member of the Collaborative Practice Professionals of Illinois, the Collaborative Law Institute of Illinois, the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals and the DuPage County Bar Association. She is a past board member and presenter for the Mediation Council of Illinois.