New image of divorceSocial media has become the place to share meaningful life occasions such as birthdays, engagements, marriages…and now divorces.


The growing trend of “divorce selfies” shows newly divorced couples happily together, often outside the courthouse, after finalizing this major life change.

According to a recent article on by Hadassah Fidler, this trend actually represents the changing face of divorce from an angry and bitter separation to a scenario where “emphasis is on conciliatory divorce and mediation,” which is especially important for couples with child custody and visitation concerns.

It’s an outcome most everyone would like, but it doesn’t happen without work.


Although divorce selfies give the impression that the divorce planning process was easy and uncomplicated, Ms. Fidler sees them as a statement of successfully navigating a very difficult situation. “It is not saying that there was not a lot of hurt and obstacles to overcome along the way,” says Fidler. “It means that there were, but they were overcome and here we are on the other side.”

These pictures prove that while an amicable divorce is challenging it’s also quite obtainable with the help of divorce mediation professionals.


The expectation of collaborative divorce is that it will be a smooth process with no difficulties or hard feelings, so when these do occur many couples want to give up. A good divorce mediator helps couples to manage their expectations and ultimately announce that they worked through the issues and separated amicably–without a long and expensive court battle.

Ms. Fidler comments that “you are much more likely to come out with a divorce selfie from mediation than you ever will from litigation” because mediation allows “each person to move forward and still retain a civilized workable relationship with their former partner.”

Is your goal to have a cooperative divorce (and maybe post your own divorce selfie)? Contact me to learn how I can help make this happen.


Erin BirtIllinois attorney Erin Birt is a skilled legal professional with over ten years of experience in trial and divorce law serving clients in many DuPage County cities including Wheaton, Glen Ellyn, Naperville, Warrenville and Winfield.

She opened the Law Firm of Erin Birt, P.C. in 2010 to offer her clients alternative divorce resolution services, specialized collaborative divorce options and family law expertise. She and her expert team continually develop creative outcomes such as divorce mediation and family law mediation that work for all parties involved, particularly children.

Ms. Birt holds a J.D. from DePaul College of Law and is a member of the Collaborative Practice Professionals of Illinois, the Collaborative Law Institute of Illinois, the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals and the DuPage County Bar Association. She is a past board member and presenter for the Mediation Council of Illinois.

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