Divorce and seperationThere are many reasons why it happens, but sometimes a spouse chooses to end a marriage with little or no warning to their significant other.

For the unsuspecting party who didn’t see it coming, this sudden life change can leave that person shocked, angry and depressed–often meaning they have no intention of cooperating with the person who turned their world upside down.

Yet even in this extremely difficult situation, divorce mediation is worth the effort of overcoming those challenging emotions. From an article by divorce mediator Joseph Dillon, here are three compelling reasons to participate in mediation when faced with an unwanted divorce.

  1. IT CAN AVOID LENGTHY DIVORCE LITIGATION – Dillon describes how one client (the spouse who walked away from the marriage) wanted to keep things civil and waited a long time for the other party to accept the situation and come to mediation. When that didn’t happen, they felt “they had no choice but to get an attorney and file.” In the end, it cost them a great deal of money and years of litigation that might have been avoided.

  2. YOU’LL POTENTIALLY REDUCE EMOTIONAL SCARS – It’s difficult to accept that your spouse no longer wants to be married to you. However, if that person wants a divorce then there’s going to be a divorce, says Dillon. How you deal with it will determine the overall effects it has on you (and any of your children). Participating in divorce mediation could make it easier for everyone involved in both the short- and long-term.

  3. YOU’RE INVOLVED IN KEY DECISIONS – Rather than leaving things to a judge, divorce mediation gives you the opportunity to push for positive outcomes on things like support or debt issues that could impact you and any children. Dillon believes it’s likely “you’ll be able to recover quicker as you won’t feel so powerless since you had a hand in your agreement.”

While you didn’t have a say in getting the divorce, you can have a say in how you go forward by participating in divorce mediation. And if the person who walked away doesn’t initiate the mediation, take back more control and arrange for it yourself.

Whether you need divorce mediation, collaborative divorce services, or assistance with Illinois child visitation and child custody issues, I can help. Contact me for more information.


Erin_Birt_37033-199x300Illinois attorney Erin Birt is a skilled legal professional with over ten years of experience in trial and divorce law serving clients in many DuPage County cities including Wheaton, Glen Ellyn, Naperville, Warrenville and Winfield.

She opened the Law Firm of Erin Birt, P.C. in 2010 to offer her clients alternative divorce resolution services, specialized collaborative divorce options and family law expertise. She and her expert team continually develop creative outcomes such as divorce mediation and family law mediation that work for all parties involved, particularly children.

Ms. Birt holds a J.D. from DePaul College of Law and is a member of the Collaborative Practice Professionals of Illinois, the Collaborative Law Institute of Illinois, the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals and the DuPage County Bar Association.